Category: the Rant Board
I go to a communit college near home, but most of my friends from high school are going to school away, either out-of-state or in the city or upstate, all places I can't get to all the time. Of course I really miss them, it's hard to leave a close-knoit group of people and find a whole bunch of new friends, something I've been having a lot of trouble with at my current school. Lately I've been especially upset with my best friend K, who goes to a very prestigious and difficult engineering school in the city. This year, she and two of her classmates got an apartment, and I was hoping I'd be able to take the train in and see her more often. I did do this a few times early this fall, but then all that work caught up with her. She started out taking 18 credits (she has whittled it down to 13.5 now) and constantly has work to do. Consequently we haven't talked in the last month because she's been so busy. I understand that, she wants to do her best in a very challenging school and that's great. But we were supposed to get together tomorrow (I won't be home all Thanksgiving weekend) and now it says on her facebook profile that she won't be home till sometime late tomorrow night. Apparently she's going to a Thanksgiving feast some of her college friends are putting on, when she was supposed to hang out with me and some other friends that night instead. She could've at least told me. It's really upsetting! I thought we were really close, as close as sisters, but if things keep up like this college is going to drive us apart.
I understand your frustration. High school graduation usually ends most friendships eventually. Some people go away to college; some people go to local colleges; some people don't attend college at all. It's really hard to maintain your close friendships at this stage in your life. You're not the first person this has happened to, believe me. Just hang in there and try hard to make new friends, but at the same time, don't give up on your old friends completely.
Agree Becky. Most of your friends from high school don't even know you exist after graduation so you just move on.
Troy
i agree with becky.
i only have 1 friend left from highschool that i actually see, and even he's moved to france now
What i would suggest in this case, if you really wish to keep your friends together... make sure they don't forget you, and make sure not to forget them either! true, that some people or some of your friends forget you; but you never know who would be remembering you.... wishing for a "surprise" phone call? or maybe who would recognize you after such long time....
I agree with al posts. High school friendships are very deep, but they are, it seems, the hardest ones to let go or maintain. I think its because we go in so many different dirrections on so many different levels after we graduate. Some choose different careers, colleges, lifestyles, etc. than we do. I had several friends in high school, and now, I only really keep in touch with one of them 30 years later. Good luck, and try to have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Lou
I wouldn't chase after her if she forgets you exist. She is desperate to fit in with her new friends, I'd leave her to it and stick with real friends, who don't play hurtful games to gain popularity.
If college life is stealing your friends, then you should be thankful it's college and not gangs, drugs, or prostitution that's taking them away. Be happy for them that they're making a life for themselves and you ought to concentrate on doing the same. I'm not trying to sound insensitive to what you're going through, I just hope you can understand that we all as human beings must chart our own course. I wish some of my friends had been taken away by school, college, careers, or something meaningful, but unfortunately they weren't.
Raskolnikov is right as far as college taking them away instead of something else goes. The friend you mention did tell you about her thanksgiving, via her Facebook profile. The great thing about Facebook, LiveJournal and other such sites, is that you can inform friends about something without having to tell them individually. Modern technology is there to be used. As your life develops, everytime you move from one place to another, for example from school to college, from university to work, etc, you may lose friends you made as a result of being at the place you're moving from, but you should also make new friends at the place to which you arrive. Obviously there are difficulties for visually impaired people which don't exist for sighted people. However, these difficulties don't make socialising totally impossible.
The only time I ever see most of my high school friends now is at parties, make new friends you'll be happier.